Adventures in Nebraska

I bought a pile of magazines for my trip to Nebraska, including the Utne Reader, which I’ve been reading on and off for nearly ten years. The current issue looks at history (as an academic subject).

An article by Keith Goetzman, “History lessons: What we’re taught and what’s ignored” points out that, “While many of us are reflexively bored when we hear the word history and downright repulsed by the idea of a history book, we flock to period movies and biopics about historical figures, watch the History channel, and consume shelf loads of historical fiction and biography” (50). He goes on to suggest that we (modern Americans? Modern people?) are interested in the people behind history, not just Great Events or Great Ideas. (Well, duh). This seems very self-evident, and it’s been my experience with my students. But I hadn’t thought about the pop culture aspect – historical movies are sometimes flop (I liked Marie Antoinette), but they are sometimes very popular (300). Why the disconnect? Shakespeare movies are fairly well-received, but we also still study him (and feel we should study him), see theater performances, etc. But anyway, Goetzmann, I think, crystallized a bit what it is I want to study, want to accomplish.

Another essay, “In the Trenches” by Patrick Hicks, discusses teaching WWI poetry to students – and why Americans ignore WWI. Drawing parallels to Iraq engages the students – yet a student with a boyfriend in Iraq asks the professor, “ ‘I’m already afraid for home. What good does this do me?’ ” (61). Hicks doesn’t know how to respond.

This made me think of one of my Women’s Lit professor’s favorite sayings (paraphrased): this is a good book. Good for who? Good for what?

What is Chaucer good for? What is literature good for? What does it mean to make a connection? How do we want to engage our students – engage anyone? Which I suppose is something else my thesis seeks to address.

Why is Chaucer good for me? . . . I don’t know. I can tell you about finding solace in Hamlet, but. . . . I like it, I like it. Is that enough? Is pure enthusiasm enough? But then, otherwise I fear I would descend into nihilism. Why do or study anything? It’s all meaningless ultimately.

Anyway.

So these are the questions, these are the thoughts rolling around my head as I begin real research. Maybe they will provide some answers, or at least some conclusions. Otherwise, I fear I will not be able to teach at all when school starts again.

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Sarah McLachlan's song "Fumbling Towards Ecstasy" comes from the Wilfred Owen poem mentioned in the Utne reader article. Hmmm.


Dulce Et Decorum Est
Wilfred Owen

Bent double, like old beggars under sacks,
Knock-kneed, coughing like hags, we cursed through sludge,
Till on the haunting flares we turned our backs
And towards our distant rest began to trudge.
Men marched asleep.
Many had lost their boots
But limped on, blood-shod.
All went lame; all blind;
Drunk with fatigue; deaf even to the hoots
Of disappointed shells that dropped behind.
GAS! Gas! Quick, boys!--
An ecstasy of fumbling,
Fitting the clumsy helmets just in time;
But someone still was yelling out and stumbling
And floundering like a man in fire or lime.--
Dim, through the misty panes and thick green light
As under a green sea, I saw him drowning.
In all my dreams, before my helpless sight,
He plunges at me, guttering, choking, drowning.
If in some smothering dreams you too could pace
Behind the wagon that we flung him in,
And watch the white eyes writhing in his face,
His hanging face, like a devil's sick of sin;
If you could hear, at every jolt, the blood
Come gargling from the froth-corrupted lungs,
Obscene as cancer, bitter as the cud
Of vile, incurable sores on innocent tongues,--
My friend, you would not tell with such high zest
To children ardent for some desperate glory,
The old Lie: Dulce et decorum est

Fumbling Towards Ecstasy
Sarah McLachlan

All the fear has left me now
I'm not frightened anymore
It's my heart that pounds beneath my flesh
it's my mouth that pushes out this breath
and if I shed a tear I won't cage it
I won't fear love
and if I feel a rage I won't deny it
I won't fear love
Companion to our demonsthey will dance, and we will play
With chairs, candles, and cloth
making darkness in the day
It will be easy to look in or out
upstream or down without a thought
and if I shed a tear I won't cage it
I won't fear love
and if I feel a rage I won't deny it
I won't fear love
Peace in the struggle
to find peace
comfort on the way
to comfort
and if I shed a tear I won't cage it
I won't fear love
and if I feel a rage I won't deny it
I won't fear love
I won't fear love
I won't fear love...